A: Mane. Find out the funny answer in today's jokes! ***. A: Horse radishes. Q: How do they vote in the horse senate? A: Broncos vs. Colts. The dogs look at each other, amazed.Bloody hell, did you see that? What do you call a horse that never loses a race? Why did the foal get in trouble at school? For all my life I have been tamed and ridden horses. They have a good time and before he realizes it the 24. He got knocked off his high horse. It goes: 1: THE HORSE (S) 2: DADDY'S MONEY 3: YOUR MONEY 4: YOU. Do you love all things punny? How do you know a horse has a negative attitude? Why don't you try the circus?" The horse nickers. If you thought that one was good, dont forget to check out these hilarious cow jokes. Why the long face? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. The first dog says Ive won six of my last ten races. When the race begins, the horse is asleep! When you spend all of your time, energy, and money on horses, you need a good sense of humor. We have reached the end of our list! When do vampires like horse racing? Today, we are shedding some light on this untapped potential for great comedy. Read on and check out the best jokes for kids! They move from place to place in search of shelter, vegetation, and adequate water. Q: Who were the two most famous horse theives? I was nervous at first, but she promised me it wasn't a colt. 242 Funny Animal Jokes That Will Drive You Wild With Laughter. The bartender, full of shock, says, Holy pony! 1.) We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer). Funny horse jokes, dumb horse puns, and a healthy round of "horse walks into a bar" jokes that are guaranteed to cause unbridled laughs. 2. What looks like half a horse?The other half. She impressed all the horses with her whip and neigh neigh. 87.) (Yes, we can make as many stable jokes as you wish!). What animal has four legs and walks backward?A horse in reverse. Share it with us in the comments below! Why did the pony have to gargle?Because it was a little hoarse. Animal Joke Where do horses live. Interesting Fact Since the Arabian horses have been developed in the desert climate, they are known for their excellent endurance and speed. But it keeps me from lickin emA guy wants to have a horse sized penisHe asks his friends for tips on how he can make his unit grow like a horse.One of his friends says; tie a weight to it and you will see that it will start to grow.So off he goes. If you're enjoying these horse jokes, you might like our popular article 17 OF Our Favorite Equestrian Memes. Its not that stable of an income! Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? EXPLANATION: The sound a horse makes is neigh, which is part of the word neighborhood. The horsepital. Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse? What do you give a sick horse?A cough stirrup. A horse-pital! reading comprehension, Now, as promised, lets get into these horse puns that will make you laugh your butt off. Make sure to check out our other posts for more hilarious content and entertainment! Check out these 14 hilarious pun cartoons that never get old. What do you do?Get off the carousel once it stops. Did you hear what happened to the best horse racer of all time? What kind of bread does a horse eat?Thoroughbred. 29.) But, what you probably didnt realize is that such a thing as a horse pun even exists. EXPLANATION: The sound a horse makes is "neigh", which is part of the word "neighborhood". What kind of shoes do frogs love. 5. 23 funny horse jokes to enjoy 1. ANSWER: In a neigh-borhood! We dont horse around when it comes to horse jokes (same with why did the chicken cross the road? jokes). Q: Why did the cowboy feed his horse so much hay? The Desperado swears, steps back into the bar, and fires a round into the piano. And now, I spend my days giving free rides to underprivileged kids here in the country., The guy is flabbergasted. This article is filled with hilarious horse jokes perfect for any equestrian or birthday party. 142 Funny Horse Puns That Are Just Oat-Standing. Here you will find great collection of funny silly and corny horse jokes for kids of all ages teens and adults who do not want to grow up. Where do newly married horses sleep?In the bridle suite. Unfortunately all the others came in at 12.30.Why couldnt the horse dance?Because he had two left feet.Who do ponies call when theyre possessed by demons?An ex-horse-ist!Name a horses favourite Baywatch actor?David Hasselhoof.A horse sits down in a movie theater and the woman next to him asks, Excuse me are you a horse?Why yes, I am, replies the horse.What are you doing at this movie?The horse says, I really liked the book.The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Where do horses live in a city? Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. Q: Which type of race horses are the deepest thinkers? Why are you sleeping? asks the jockey, to which the horse replies, because Im going to have to get up early in the morning., A man was complaining that he couldnt tell his two horses apart from each other. Whats do horses play for fun. A person who overheard him suggested that he measure both horses to see which one was taller. What is the difference between a horse and a duck?One goes quack and the other goes quick! homonyms, Some kind of animal!. Which side of the horse has the most hair?The outside. How did the pony get the bugs away. How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse? I had the worst nightmare ever! My horse said. Whats the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? Im gonna have one more beer, the Desperado bellows to the terrified crowd, and if my horse aint back where I left him when Im done, Ill do here what I had to do in Houston., The locals murmur uneasily as the Desperado sips his drink. Searching his memory he yells to the horse Hallelujah. At this point, the horses notice a greyhound who has been sitting there listening. "Why would the circus need a bartender?" I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to one and it did. 13.) Youll find more funny jokes for kids here: 2017-2023 Michael & Gabriel, Inc. - All Rights Reserved. Wild horses are herbivores. Q. A horse was euthanised following a fall in the third race on the final day of the Aintree Festival. 2.) Here are 100 funny bear jokes and the best bear puns to crack you up. Q: What award did they give the horse who could drink the most water? Why did the horses check bounce? Horse Reacts To Donkey In The Funniest Way Possible, Meet Microdave: A Tiny Horse With Boatloads Of Personality, Shania Twain's Horse Demands To Be Seen During Home Performance, Listening to the Horse - The Documentary by Elaine Heney & Grey Pony Films, Shoulder In & Out Training for better balance, bend & topline development with your horse, Over 110+ Polework Exercises & Challenges to Download, Dancing at Liberty & Creating Connection with Your Horse (11 lessons) - Grey Pony Films, 17 Magnificent Colorado Ranger Horses (Unique Photos), 7 Beautiful Russian Horse Breeds (with Photos), 7 Royal-Worthy Horse Breeds (With Photos), 9 Types of Horse-Drawn Carriages (with Images). Need help? Quiet horse, who? Your email address will not be published. What did the horse say when it fell?Ive fallen and I cant giddyup!. Whos there?Quiet horse. What do you say to people that ride tall mares? Wow! says one, after a hushed silence. The horse replied, You read my mind!, A horse walked into a therapists office looking upset. Knock knock knock knock. However, these creatures can sleep either standing up or lying down. 3. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks. Q: Why did the horse cross the road? A man decided riding a horse would be easy. All; Latest Episodes; Fiction; Non-fiction; Kids; Gimlet. Don't order hay for your horse off Amazon. Q: Whats the hardest thing about riding a horse? Q: Which horse can jump higher than a house? Then youve come to the right place. Some of the puns were too foal! That is something that normal people do not do. They're great to drop into your daily conversations too! jokes for kids, 72.) Which side of the horse has the most hair? "A _____ walks into a bar" is a common start to a joke. Did you find a pun that could be your next great dad joke? 68 Hilarious Santa Jokes for the Holidays (Ho, Ho, Ho! Share. The longest living horse in wild as of 1974 was 36 years. Post a comment and I will respond as quickly as possible. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? 43.) What is black and white and eats like a horse?A zebra. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? I did, but they used too much mayo-neighs! Whats the hardest thing about learning to horseback ride. A: Mane St. Q: When do vampires like horse racing? A: Lightning Colts. They discovered a newhorsespecies that has a horn and one, The good pony apologized to the tiger at the. So the crowd started calling him arrogant as he couldnt get off his high horse.What do you call a racehorse whos too old to race?Fast paste.A man has a racehorse who never won a race.Man in disgust says, Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning.The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.He kicks the horse and asks, WHY ARE YOU SLEEPINGThe horse, half asleep says, I have to get up at three in the morning.Did you hear what happened at the racetrack yesterday?One horse was so slow, they had to pay the jockey overtime.Why is it hard so hard to carry on a conversation with racehorses?They dont stand around furlong!Two greyhound are sitting in a stableThey are both boasting to each other about their racing victories. Q: What does a horse say when you don't give them enough hey? 30 comments. How can this be? What did the Mother Horse say to the foal?It is pasture bedtime. "Yes please," says the horse. Ive fallen and I cant giddy-up. A: At Old Neighvy. Transitioning your horse's feed? Shows. Where do horses live in a city? Suitable for the young and old, these horse jokes for kids will have you in stitches. "Excuse me, good sir," the horse says, "are you hiring?" The manager looks the horse up and down and says, "Sorry, pal. Horses live in every region of the world except Antarctica and the northern Arctic regions of North America Europe and Asia. Need more animal jokes? 17.) Horses can sleep standing up or lying down. This means that they do not eat animals and only eat plants; so in other words, they are vegetarians! Do you know the best thing to keep your mane clean? Here weve compiled a list of some of our favorite horse jokes one liners. The therapist asked, Why such a long face? The horse replied, I hate my job! Why dont you quit? the therapist asks. He said, Have you ever shoed a horse?I said, No, but Ive told a donkey to piss off once.Fine, Ill get of my high horse!But you really should STOP giving the horses edibles, you know? Why can a farmer always trust a horse? Answer: His horses name is Friday. Q: How do you make a small fortune on horse racing? Shows. Where do horses live. Have you heard about the jockey who couldnt find a horse? 19.) If you love animal humor, check out these deer puns that really make the heart grow fawnder. Who is in charge of horse town?The mare (mayor). Did these horse puns give you a hoof and a holler! Unfortunately all the others came in at 1230. Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples. 26.) Your email address will not be published. A horse walks into a bar. Do you know the hardest part about horse racing? vocabulary, Previous post: Idiom of the Week: Its raining cats and dogs. 4. Your email address will not be published. How do bees brush their hair. There are three reasons why horses make such great animals: theyre loyal, theyre intelligent, and, most importantly they can be hilarious. Shows. Why would the circus need a bartender?. Yes please, says the horse.Hey, a one horse open sleigh isnt the only fun thing to ride.If you are a horse, you will always be my first pick.I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around.Those things they put in horses mouths do they hurt?A bit.Horses can run smoothly on a frozen racecourse But not furlong.How do horses cast their vote?By saying yay or neigh!Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples.What do you say to a horse after it loses a bet?Pony up!Where do horses love to shop?Old Neigh-vy. Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about horses that are also awesome horse jokes for adults and kids to be told! If your family lives with animals, you all know just how funny they can be. A: Can I get you a stable. Neigh-braska Horses living in Neigh-braska are lucky. How did the pony win the hide and seek game? Q: What do every horse and rider do together? How do they vote in the horse senate?With a yay or neigh. 96.) Financially stable! 2. This funny collection of friendly and good jokes riddles and puns about horse are clean and safe for children of all ages. Did you hear about the horse that cheated in the derby? Unfortunately, with most jokes, the setup and punchline are generally quite obvious. Where do horses live-Animal Jokes-kids jokes of the day. Help Ive fallen and I cant giddy up. Bad Joke Wednesday. How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?Start with a large fortune.What kind of food do race horses like to eat?Fast food.Whats similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet?Theyre both off and running.Theres only one time vampires like watching a horse race.When its neck and neck.A racehorse once smoked some weed just before the race was about to start.Once it started, the jockey couldnt control it as it veered off track. Six of my last ten races that ride tall mares your best joke here get! One goes quack and the best bear puns to crack you up is neigh, which is part of Aintree. Your next great dad joke of the Week: its raining cats and dogs enough hey the Week its! Animal has four legs and walks backward? a zebra that normal people do not eat animals only! Is something that normal people do not eat animals and only eat plants ; so in words... This untapped potential for great comedy only like Apples post: Idiom of the except... 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